Real
by God of Insanity
Summary: One Shot; Sesshoumaru's musings.


_**Real**  
_  
Summary: One shot; Sesshoumaru's musings.  
  
Author's Notes: I was bored and tired. I started working on WACF, but didn't feel like thinking at the moment, plus, I didn't feel like writing COTS cuz I wasn't in the mood. Don't worry, I'll get right back to both of those soon. I just felt like writing about Sesshoumaru. Oh and this is a One Shot, too. I just wanted to do something way different this time.  
  
Pairing: Surprise, I think. Its not hard to guess.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Warning: One Shot, Yaoi and I think that's about it.

**DO NOT READ IF UR 2 YOUNG, IMMATURE AND/OR HOMOPHOBIC!**

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_I am the great dog demon lord Sesshoumaru. I rule the Western lands of Japan.  
  
All fear me, demons and humans alike. They know what my name means. It increases their fear. _

_They fear me.  
  
All but one. He fears me not.  
  
He is not even a real demon.  
  
Or a real hanyou.  
  
He was once a human, they tell me. A human who gave His burnt flesh to hundreds of demons.  
  
Thus, He became...  
  
Half human, half demon. A self-made hanyou.  
  
It makes me sick. Disgusting. Revolting. It disgusts me more than the half-breed Inu-Yasha.  
  
Yet, this self-made hanyou believes He can fool me.  
  
He cannot fool me. I know what He really is.  
  
I know what He wants and I know how desperate He is to get it.  
  
He desires to become me.  
  
But He will never become me, because I was born this way and He was not.  
  
I am pure.  
  
He is not.  
  
And yet, He has me thinking even more impure thoughts.  
  
It would not matter, since I'm not holy. But...  
  
He is not worthy of my thoughts.  
  
And yet, I think always of Him.  
  
I want Him._

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_I patrol my lands, but not with Jaken or Rin.  
  
Maybe He will be stupid enough to trespass.  
  
Or maybe that is just wishful thinking.  
  
Why?  
  
Why does He make me want Him?  
  
Why do I even want Him?  
  
I don't know.  
  
I just do.  
  
Even so, I know He wants me, too.  
  
That's almost the worst part.  
  
It's worse that I want Him, too.  
  
I cannot give in, though.  
  
He's not real.  
  
I am real.  
  
Yet I want to claim Him as mine.  
  
To claim an illusion?  
  
It would sounds mad to anyone, I suppose.  
  
Perhaps I am mad.  
  
I chase after my brother as it is, trying to wipe his existence off from this world.  
  
Maybe I wish Inu-Yasha was not real.  
  
And that He was real._

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* * *

After many days of wandering aimlessly, I stop.  
  
I am going mad.  
  
He's not real.  
  
So why am I searching for something that's not there?  
  
And yet His scent is heavy on the wind.  
  
I indulge in the smell, despite the humanity mixed within it.  
  
I still wish He was real.  
  
Yet, He smells real enough to me at the moment.  
  
So I keep searching for Him.  
  
His scent comes close, but then almost disappears.  
  
He's playing with me.  
  
He knows I'm after Him.  
  
And yet, He dares play with me.  
  
Foolish fake hanyou.  
  
Or am I the foolish one?

* * *

Days pass and still, He persists to play His little game.  
  
Just as I get fed up with it and as I turn away to leave...  
  
He is there.  
  
Mocking me.  
  
I growl and my poison hisses with promise.  
  
He only smiles; his monkey suit absent.  
  
"My Lord Sesshoumaru, what a pleasure it is." He says, mocking me more.  
  
He wants me to get angry, to try to strike Him.  
  
He wants me to lose it and continue to play His stupid game.  
  
Its my turn to surprise Him.  
  
I turn away and start walking away, as if He were not real.  
  
He isn't real.  
  
He's only a shadow, a thought, a whisper.  
  
Nothing more, nothing less.  
  
He is not real, so I leave Him behind.  
  
So why is my heart breaking?

* * *

It seems its my turn to be surprised.  
  
He grabs my arm and turns me around.  
  
His touch feels very real.  
  
For once, I do nothing but stare at Him.  
  
"I do not want you to leave." He says, His usual mocking tone...gone.  
  
I say nothing.  
  
He only stares back at me, as if in awe.  
  
I am tempted.  
  
So I dare indulge in what I believe is not real.  
  
I touch His face.  
  
He flinches, as if He had expected me to strike Him.  
  
I cannot strike what isn't real, you fool.  
  
I caress His face with my long, fingers, taking my time.  
  
His skin is silky and smooth.  
  
It feels so real.

* * *

I try to tell myself that He is not real.  
  
His lips on mine feel so real.  
  
He tastes so real, of spice and fire.  
  
He tastes better than I imagined He would.  
  
I cannot believe that he is real.  
  
Even as His body moves with mine, it feels so real.  
  
Maybe I'm the one who isn't so real, after all.  
  
I feel alive now.  
  
All it took was him being inside me, moving, thrusting, clawing...  
  
Kissing, biting, and claiming me.  
  
That's all it took for Him to make me feel alive.  
  
All these years, I've been the one who wasn't real.  
  
He's always been real.  
  
Yet, I didn't completely believe that He was real until He said those two words...  
  
Right before release, He cried, "Aishiteru, Sesshoumaru!"  
  
And that's when I believed it.  
  
That's when I believed with all of my soul that he was real.  
  
Naraku is real. 

_Owari_

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_**So, how was that? Different, I know. But I kind of like it. For once, I've told it in first person. Its kinda poetic, I think, but that makes sense since I am a very poetic baka at that. So, please R&R**_. 


End file.
